TOWC: Vol 42: GOML

The OriginalWij Chronicles
Volume 42
Get Off My Lawn



This game contains some offensive language and drug references, as well as the normal violence!!!
This game is NOT, I repeat NOT intended for younger gamers!!!


Long ago …     … long before the time of the Egyptians, the Mayans, or even the fabled Atlantis, there was Metrascia.  Metrascia was your stereotypical medieval type society.  People walked everywhere.  They used swords and shields, there were wizards and warriors and things were generally peaceful.  It was a strange world though.  What you would consider bizarre was commonplace.  One of the most bizarre creatures from this era was a semi-retired sorcerer named Wij.  It seemed that the world was intent on not letting him retire.  No matter where he went there was always someone in need of rescue or an evil tyrant bent on world domination/destruction.  It was always Wij to the rescue.  The problem was he was good at it.  Time after time after time he saved cities, countries, damsels, and even the entire world on an occasion or three.  But when he had to destroy the woman he loved to save the rest of the planet, he broke.  He was finally at his wits end and wanted some peace and quiet …     … just to be left alone.  So he called in a few favors owed to him by some very important people and entered into the Sorcerer Relocation Program.
This is where our story begins.  A fresh start for a weary hero.  However, old habits do die hard …      … and heroes rarely say no.


The world of Metrascia is to be taken with a grain of salt.  This game-world is meant to be lighthearted and fun.  The storyline, NPCs, battles, and even the protagonist poke fun at the RPG genre and our beloved community.  No, this is not a pure community game.  However, there are a plethora of cameos featuring our forum friends.   Clichés abound and are even pointed out in most situations.  The world is a dangerous place, so beware of monsters, freaks, and the like out in the wilds between settlements.  But don’t fret, you will be notified when an attack is imminent.  If you do engage in battle, there’s an easy to use control system to cater to your bloodlust as well as several strategic combat options.  While visiting the towns and villages of  the world, make sure to check out the fine shops and pubs available.  In particular, the exclusive conversions shops that can convert normal everyday items into powerful battle aids.  There are even quest shops where one can find a job to earn some money or useful items.  While guiding Wij on his travels, you will meet some very interesting people in some seemingly ordinary places.   Some may even help you out and join you on your quests.  There are secrets, little do-dads, and surprises around every corner.
So keep an eye out … but more importantly … have fun!


OriginalWij (a.k.a. Wij)
Class: Retired Hero
Our protagonist.  Very, very, very, very old. (no one knows exactly how old)  Your basic hero/mage type.
He is a little cranky and fed up with his vocation.  However, he has been through this many times before so he has good world saving skills.
While rough (and generally considered ugly) on the outside, he has a heart of gold and rarely refuses a request for help.
His manners may not be the best, but he has a 100% completion rate and never gives up.
If you absolutely have to save the world and have no time to do it in … this is the guy you call.

Ookie Panda (a.k.a. The Ookinator)
Class: Cute Assassin
The perfect killer.  She sidles up to you all cute and adorable.  You lower your guard.   BOOM!   She stabs you in the face.
Her mild mannered demeanor and cuteness are formidable weapons.  Do not underestimate her!
Her turn-ons are:  kitties, bunnies, glomps, and rolling on the floor.
Her turn-offs are: mean people, gross things, not paying attention to her, and butts.
She loves to sing and dance and wander around.  You never know where you will run into her …

Jonny Roxard (a.k.a. Jonny Rocks Hard)
Class: Rock Wizard
Self-proclaimed rock legend.   Musical warlock that can use instruments as weapons.
Knowledgeable in all musical genres, but specializes in “Metal”.
A man who is always in search of the ultimate music.  A perfectionist and a narcissist.
But in the good way …   When the chips are down he will always turn it up to 11.   Look for him in a place with good acoustics.

Plato Chinowski (a.k.a. Platinum Chin)
Class: Bad-Ass
Sergeant in a classified section of the military.  Sniper.  When you want someone or something dead … this is the man.
Do not ever question his loyalties.   He is a man of great honor and pride.
He is the only soldier in the entire secret military division to have a perfect mission completion ratio.
He was trained under Wij many years ago.  Listen for shots ringing out to find him …
There is another character that can greatly help you out on your journey …
… but it’s up to you to locate this friend.




NOTE 1: All credits are displayed at the end of the game.
NOTE 2: Please report any odd occurrences, bugs, or tile errors.
NOTE 3: Criticism is welcome (both good and bad), but please tell me WHY it’s awesome or WHY it sucks.
NOTE 4: Enjoy!  B)


The Original Wij Chronicles: Volume 42: Get Off My Lawn (no RTP)

Made using RPG Maker VX

From my mind to your PC ….

~Wij 8)


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